Fullmetal Alchemist: A Stupid Story
by Five Foot Fury
Summary: This is the first ever fanfic I wrote with my coauthor Eli White. Its filled with errors that I left there and labeled it a parody. We wrote it when there was still so much about fma that we didn't understand. (3-4 yrs ago) I don't know when this takes place or what happened, but all of the homunculi are dead.


**I'm going to try to list the full cast right here.**

**Who Eli White writes for- Edward, Scar, Roy, Breda, Fuery, Falman, Havoc, evil Xingese guy, Denny**

**Who I write for- Alphonse, Winry, Riza, Kimblee, Olivier, Maria, Rebecca (is she even in this story?), Lin, Lan Fan, Black Hayate**

**I only edited the spelling and grammar, and left all the stupidity in there.**

**...**

_So, this is where they live._ Thought Kimblee, observing the house from where he stood by the road. It was late at night. Anyone inside the house should be asleep. With a notion that the Elric brothers might be inside, he clapped his hands and sent fire roaring towards the house. The Rockbell house instantly became engulfed in flames and then exploded. Kimblee got in his car, grinning, and drove off in high hopes that the Elric brothers might finally be dead.

...

Winry Rockbell got off the train, happy to be back in Resembool and for her apprenticeship to be over. She walked to her grandmother's house, thinking about giving Den a scratch behind the ears and checking on his leg, when a sight made her stop dead. "No!" Tears in her eyes, she ran to the ruin that was left of her home. "Den! Granny! Not them!" Hope that they may still be alive vanished when she found Den's auto-mail dented, burned, and barely recognizable.

...

Winry entered the first phone booth she found and wiped her eyes, trying to think. She wanted to talk to Ed and Al and make sense of this, but those two always went from one place to another without telling her. Taking a chance, she called the place she last knew them to be at.

"Hello, Star Hotel front desk. Who may I ask is calling?"

"Winry Rockbell. Is Edward Elric there?"

"I'm sorry, you just missed him. He checked out an hour ago."

Any other time she would've cursed at this reply, but only tears fell this time. "Do you know where he went?"

"He was called to have a meeting with the Queen Fuhrer at Armstrong Mansion." The voice said kindly.

"Thank you." She said good-bye and hung up. _The Armstrong Mansion? A meeting with the president?_ None of it sounded good. If she hurried over to Central though, she might be able to catch up with them. Winry left the phone booth and went back to the train station.

...

"Xing has declared war on us." The Fuhrer President Queen announced. The Elric brothers were the only ones in the room with her. "I don't know why, they won't say." She added. "But I'm sending you East to help fight."

"What?!" Edward couldn't believe it. "You can't send me to the front and expect me to kill people. I can't do it." He was visibly upset.

"I refuse to do this too! I don't want to hurt people, much less kill them!"

"I can't send you to battle anyway, you're not a state alchemist." Olivier said in reply to Alphonse. She fixed Edward with an icy glare. "You, on the other hand, are the only state alchemist that I believe can fight in this war out of the few we have."

"What about Major Armstrong?" Alphonse intervened.

"My brother couldn't fight in the Ishvalan War, I doubt he can fight in this one."

"I won't do it. I will not use my alchemy to commit mass murder." Edward slammed his hands down on the top of her desk. "What about Roy? He's done it before."

"He has been discharged."

"Then its your own fault that there are not enough state alchemists. Why don't you go to the front?"

"I have a lot of work to do here thanks to that homunculus. I was actually about to start working on getting rid of state alchemists... but we really need you over there. If you won't kill, then find some other way to protect our soldiers. You'll be leaving in an hour."

"So, I see you're giving me no choice but to go. Fine then. I guess you'll have to continue the search without me Al." He said annoyed as he walked out of the room.

Alphonse caught up with him in the hall. "I can't let you go by yourself big brother. I'm coming with you."

"No way. Me being sidetracked is bad enough as it is, I don't need you to be too." Edward stopped and faced him.

Alphonse looked down, his metal face was expressionless as always, but when he spoke, he sounded worried. "Do you know when you'll be back?" He had been in the room when the Fuhrer President Queen had debriefed Edward, so he knew Edward didn't know as much as him, but he couldn't help asking.

"It might be awhile, but you can handle it, can't you? besides, if we split up, maybe we'll find a way to get our bodies back sooner." Ed tried to cheer Al up.

"I guess. We have always wondered if Xing's alchemy would be a better alternative. You may find something."

"I have one hour before I leave. I might as well call Winry and tell her." Edward went outside and to the nearest phone booth. After putting some cenz in, he dialed Winry's work number. He talked to her boss for a couple of seconds before hanging up. "Her apprenticeship is over, so she went back to Resembool." He told Al as he dug up some more cenz out of his pocket.

"From what she's told us, she probably taught him more than he taught her." Alphonse said, half inside the phone booth. He thought back to their meeting with Queen Armstrong. _I wonder what happened to cause Colonel Mustang to be discharged... _He backed out of the phone booth when Edward hung up for the second time.

"I guess she's getting the phone repaired." Ed said disappointedly.

"If I happen to see her, I'll let her know big brother."

"Thanks Alphonse. Well, I better hurry on over to the train station. See you later." He waved over his shoulder as he walked away.

Alphonse waved back, watching him go until he was out of sight, then sat down at a bench. He would never admit it, but not having Ed around to worry about and take care of, he could do the search 24/7. Being a soul trapped inside a suit of armor, he can't eat or sleep. he thought for a moment about how to continue the search. It seemed so far that they had no choice, but to use a philosopher's stone. Kimblee had one, but Al didn't dare go up against him. _Where else can I find one?_

...

"Hey Robert, you'll never guess who just boarded the train." Breda said.

Roy looked up from the newspaper he had been reading and looked at the door farthest from his seat on the train. "So, she's making Fullmetal join the war." Roy said, watching Edward take a seat on the opposite side of the train.

"Poor kid, I hope he can handle being a soldier." Breda mumbled through a piece of bread.

"Hmm." Roy responded by turning back to his newspaper.

**...**

**Before you review saying that there is this error and that, I know. That's why I labeled it as a parody thing, because its so bad, its funny.**


End file.
